5 SUBTLE WAYS WE LIMIT OUR DAILY JOY!
Living in the Northeast and frequently thinking about disliking the cold is not the smartest thing to do since it is cold here starting in mid-November and can stay that way until May. I was telling myself for years that "I can't take the cold" or how "I'm so tired of the cold." I made myself miserable eight months out of twelve. What a shitty way to spend those months?!
Interestingly, growing up, I didn't mind the cold. I enjoyed sledding and skating and playing in the snow. I loved the rosy cheeks I would get after spending time outside. Even shoveling snow seemed like a fun way to burn some calories and get stronger. This year I decided to change my attitude. I decided to embrace the cold and "fall in love" with it to the best of my ability. Not only had I bought undershirts and warm boots, I decided to take it a step further and truly challenge myself - I decided to start doing cryotherapy! Cryotherapy requires you to stand in a cold chamber with negative 202 degrees for three minutes. There are numerous benefits of this procedure for inflammation and weight loss, but the mental challenge was what had me drawn to it. Overcoming our limits over and over again is very powerful - you build new neural pathways, and it becomes easier every time you do it.
Don't get me wrong, I still prefer warmth and sunshine, but I am more mindful of what I say during the colder months. Life is a lot more enjoyable when we feel good, and repeating how "tired you are of something" will not make anything better. In my case, the thirty-degree weather became much more tolerable, and I had fun when I took my son sledding. More importantly, I proved to myself that I could be more joyful without any changes in my circumstances.
Ways we limit our daily joy:
We use negative language - "I can't take this anymore," "this is so annoying," and "can this get any worse?" Words we choose to paint our lives matter! The first step is noticing the pattern. Then, consciously replacing those statements. I recently heard a song where the parts of the lyrics were "I don't know about you but I feel good," so I couldn't get that phrase out of my mind, and you know what - regardless of what the song was about and what was happening - I felt good! Repetition is key! So write some positive phrases on a post-it and put them where you can see them.
We draw incorrect conclusions or take things too seriously. Have you ever spilled a cup of a hot liquid and then got into a spat with a family member to conclude that it would be "that type of a day?" Once we think that, we find other experiences that support our hypothesis. Instead, change the direction of where your day is going - taking a 5-minute break can make a difference in changing the course of your day. Ask yourself what would feel nourishing or relaxing right now - a cup of tea, a few minutes of "box breathing," some stretches? Laughter works wonders! Whatever it is, please do it!
We overthink! In this case, bringing yourself to the present moment is vital, and the "think less, do more" trick works. Don't think about it but go for a walk, to a different room, clean, do something physical. You can't solve all the problems in your head, and you can't willpower yourself out of thinking. "We can't solve problems by using the same kind of thinking we used when we created them," - said Albert Einstein." We need to change our state of mind before we can find a solution.
We give up too quickly or don't give ourselves space to process things. At times, a "surrender" can provide you with space and insight to find new motivation. Take a break - you don't have to decide anything now. We all have experienced renewed energy after a relaxing getaway or even a good night's sleep, so give things time before calling it quits.
We forget how incredible it feels to reach our goals! It doesn't have to be anything huge but taking the time to set small goals, then celebrate your successes will make you feel amazing! The best part - we tend to want to do those things that make us feel good! So set a goal for today and accomplish it! For me, it was finishing this piece!