I’m a Complainer!
No one wants to be looked upon as a complainer even when our endless to-do list makes us feel like a volcano - ready to explode. Unrealistic expectations make us feel inadequate. And instead of being honest, we feel compelled to express our gratitude. We all indeed have a lot to be thankful for. Still, you can't fill a frustration-filled overflowing bucket with anything, including gratitude. There comes the point where gratitude doesn't feel very authentic. I want to give you a tip that has helped me a great deal to "empty" that bucket, so when I express my thankfulness, I genuinely feel it as opposed to crossing off just another task on my long to-do list.
In our society, the typical responses to the question of "how are you?" are "great" or "fine.". Is anyone else tired of embellishing? Yes, we don't want to complain but enough is enough. There's nothing wrong with being honest with yourself with where you are. It's ok to accept yourself as you are, and it's ok not to be ok all the time. Would it not be better to know exactly where you stand, so you know what you can work on to improve? Once you acknowledge your starting point, it's easier to come up with a game plan.
So now, back to that tip I mentioned. Pick a time of the day, commit to 10 minutes at most and do it for at least a week to see if that makes a difference in your well-being. I love doing it first thing in the morning to start my day fresh. Next, write down anything and everything that comes to your mind. There are days when all I write about is what bothers me, annoys me and infuriates me. After I finish, I take that piece of paper, rip it into pieces and throw it away. I let it all go. You don't need to censor anything. Write anything and everything you wouldn't share with anyone, what has made you angry, frustrated and what you simply can't stand. You can be honest with yourself. And just like a patient after a therapy session who feels better by getting things off of his/her chest, you too will feel lighter. You will feel heard and you may even learn something about yourself. And the best part - no one knows you complained.
In her book "The Artist's Way," Julia Cameron talks about how writing things down can increase creativity and our ability to problem-solve. Other benefits include a sense of lightness, decreased stress and greater clarity. You may notice now you have room in your bucket. As days go by, overall, you will now have the space to appreciate all the blessings you are genuinely grateful for in your life.
As with most things that make an impact, consistency is key. But stick to the 80/20 rule. We all have "off" days, so don't strive for perfection. To see what works for me, I do something, take a break, start again and reassess.